"If you no get money, hide your face"
"If you are acting like this, how will you provide for your family?"
"Go and make money before someone collects your babe."
"A man is only respected if he has money"
These statements and others like it have conditioned most men to live with the crippling weight and pressure of having to make money; make it early and without asking for help.
Sure, these days, with more emphasis on the just concluded International Men's Day, society is slowly (and thankfully) shifting focus and undue pressure from men. But the ingrained expectation that a man's worth is tied to his net worth is still very much around, leaving men with the heavy and silent burden.
The result of tying a man's worth entirely to his net worth leads to a toxic relationship between men, money and their mental health. For many, any financial struggle equals feelings of shame, anxiety, and failure. When you add this to the already present "I am a man, I have to be strong" mentality, the results do not come out nice or pretty.
The good news is that it is never too late to redefine this relationship. In fact, the best time to do that is now; you can stage your own 11th-hour miracle while dodging the mental stress and pressure that comes with it. It is time to shift the focus from external factors you cannot control to those within your reach. Here is what we mean:
Get Your Numbers Straight
Some types of purchases and bills make you avoid checking your balance. That is likely because you are scared of what you will see. Unfortunately, this does not help you because it does not change what is already there; it only allows the problem to fester.
So, here is what you can do: set some time apart to do a review every week. You can call it reality-check time. Use it to review your income, expenses, and maybe your debts. It needs to be thorough but not overly complicated, and yes, use any tool you are comfortable with. This way, you can see many things at once. By doing this, you have solid facts, and it puts you in instant control. And this is the good part, because having control over many things without stressing is one of the things that keep everyone mentally healthy.
Personalise Your Success
It is super important for you to set your success at your own pace. The statement that comparison is the thief of time is not an ordinary saying, because it really is. If you keep comparing yourself to others, you will live with a continuous need to keep up, even when nobody is chasing you.
That is why you need to describe what success is to you, and stick to it. You can then set boundaries based on this. Like politely declining an expensive outing because it does not define you. This is simply you separating your worth from your net worth; and this leads to a boost in self-image and esteem.
Your Time Has Come
When you have not been saving or investing all year, it is easy to wonder what the point of starting now is, but you need to break free from that limiting spirit because your time has come. You do not have to wait for another year to arrive before you, too, join and say: "New Year, New Me"; instead, use this time for high-impact and achievable moves like accessing how much you can invest for the coming year.
These steps would help you to see that men can achieve both a stronger bank balance and a healthier mind; a mental health professional would help with the latter, and Credlanche is there to help you achieve the former.